There are, broadly speaking, two sorts of people in this country. This country, by the way, is England. It is not South Scotland. It is the one which, sadly, is being eaten away by a bunch of zealots despots self-satisfied attention-seeking megalomaniacs … there must be a word … hubris-ridden lunatics … ahh, that’s better.
The two sorts of people are the ones who’ve had enough (that includes me) and the others who are on the gravy train or are mentally deranged, or both.
If you are one of the latter kind, then please feel free to comment on this blogette, I will probably delete your comments because you are clearly either too stupid or too selfish to have them published. However, if you are one of the former, then please read on, as there is a formula by which I think things could be restored to normality, or at least some semblance of it.
If you are in the middle of the road or sitting on the fence, then take a gander at this which will give an indication of how jumpy and jittery the powers-that-be are. Or look at this:
It isn’t real. Of course it isn’t. Nor is this:
This is, though, on all the locks on the river Nene, courtesy of the Environment Agency, who are only doing what they’re told:
And so was the one which was written in Welsh, and translated as “I am not in the office at the moment …” rather than the intended “No entry for heavy goods vehicles …”. It’s still on Auntie Beeb at time of writing, and not dated April 1st here
Perhaps April Fools’ day in Wales is our Hallowe’en.
So, which camp are you in?
Had enough? Then here’s what to do. Firstly, find someone who is intending to vote for this bunch again. They are quite easy to spot, and you can find them almost anywhere (although there seem to be more in the North, Scotland, Wales and so on). Look for these telltale signs:
- standing outside a job centre
- knuckles dragging on the ground
- wearing school uniform and pushing a pushchair or being followed closely by small child or children
- going into, or coming out of, a public building such as a council office, court house, police station etc
- wearing a red rosette
Having identified your target, ask them if they are intending to vote for the offending bunch. If they reply in the affirmative then attempt to sway them by offering cohesive and coherent arguments (do not use big words as this will confuse them). Ask them the question again. If they have seen the light, then wish them well, and congratulate yourself on a job well done.
If they cannot be persuaded by reasonable means then, because at the moment the vote is only witheld from serving prisoners, the mentally ill and most animals, I guess the way forward would be to shoot them.